8 Tips for a Better First Date
So, you’ve swiped right, had a little conversation and have decided to meet up. But, first dates can be daunting. There’s so much pressure to be yourself and to make an amazing first impression, all while dealing with those butterflies in your stomach.
Here are eight tips to help you up your first date game, and get that coveted second date.
Know Why You’re Dating
Are you looking for something casual, or do you want a committed relationship? Spend some time thinking about this beforehand.
When you know what your end goal is, it’ll be easier to engage with your date appropriately. If you are confused, it’s likely your date will pick up on this, and be put off.
Manage Your Expectations
While it’s perfectly normal to be excited about the prospects of a new match, don’t start picturing the wedding just yet.
You may realise during your date that the two of you just aren’t compatible, or are looking for different things.
Not all dates will lead to the end goal you’re after, and keeping that in mind will help you deal with that if it happens.
Anxiety can come across as tension or aloofness, or cause you to blurt out something silly. If you really struggle with anxiety, try a few relaxation exercises before the date.
Take some deep breaths and imagine all of the tension leaving your body. Think of a few topics you can chat about with your date, and then visualise the get-together going exactly as you want it to.
Remember to breathe while on your date! If you feel yourself panicking, take a few breaths, smile, and carry on.
Do Something Fun
Choose a date activity that you know you will enjoy, because having fun is relaxing and attractive.
If a restaurant makes you nervous because you’ll have to make conversation for hours, choose something that will engage your body as well as your mind. How about a game of darts or a beautiful nature walk?
Don’t choose something that will put you on the spot or make you feel pressure. Going bungee jumping on a first date, for example, is not advised.
Avoid One-Line Answers
There is nothing more frustrating than someone who just won’t talk. You’re on a first date to get to know each other, and if you only answer in monosyllables, that’s not going to happen.
Help your date to keep the conversation going by giving them real answers. Ask your date questions, too, to show you are interested.
While it’s important to be yourself, you don’t want to tell your date too much.
Telling them about every relationship you’ve ever had, or that mole you had removed, or about how much you hate your job should be avoided.
Stick to lighter, happier topics, and keep the skeletons in your closet for later dates. Remember, positivity is attractive.
Put your phone away. Not on the table where you can see it, but away – in your bag or pocket.
Unless you’re expecting an extremely urgent text or call – and you explain this to your date – don’t check your phone on a first date.
You will seem rude and uninterested. Pay attention to your date; they’re why you’re there, after all.
Don’t Jump the Gun
So, you’ve had a great time, and you’re walking your date to their car. Do you make a move? The answer is: probably not.
Unless you have gotten extremely clear signals from your date that they want to be kissed or have their hand held, rather err on the side of caution.
If you’re too forward, you may scare them away. Rather wait until you’ve gotten to know each other a bit better.